Coaching, Mikveh & Shalom Bayit

Mikveh I Ritual Bath

Love, laughter & lessons from my life coach, rebbetzin & cantor's wife/assistant 
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You read the title right my friends! Life coaching, mikve classes and shalom bayit have been practices, rituals and ways of living which have enlightened me. Its been a busy few months on our end.  I have learned from the most wonderful women in San Diego. I have had the luck and pleasure to work with my dear friend and life coach; Leslie J. Saul, mikveh classes with Rebbetzin Shoshie Wohlgelernter and a very special lady (cantor Haim Mizrahi's wife/assistant) whom I call a second mom and has known me even before I left my moms womb; Rashel Mizrahi. I have had my wolfette-pack preparing me, mentoring me and guiding me to life-lessons and tips that are known to help keep a relationship long-lasting, strong, passionate and full of love and respect. Most importantly, my takeaway from each of these women concluded in loving ourselves in order to love and give to others as well as share a life with peace, harmony and tranquility... while passing it on from generation to generation. 

Things that we all already know right? Wrong. We don't know everything and we pretend we do until things feel a bit.. unbalanced or not quite so pinterest-like or instagram-share ready. Either way, its good to be reminded about the art of communication, igniting love and the business of keeping a partnership for life! L'CHAIM! 

Breaking down the title; Life Coaching.

Now, therapy is not a bad thing whatsoever. If anything, I encourage it 1000%!!  Having an expert guide us through our roles as individuals & the roles in a relationship, responsibilities as a couple and prepare us for a successful marriage ahead with the proper tools is more than a cherry on top. We have different assignments that keep us focused with our mutual dreams and goals as well as our individual desires and objectives, while keeping us accountable along the way. Life moves extremely fast, so having an extra moment where we work on our partnership in order to create and have the life we always dreamed of having together is more than a golden ticket. 

During our wedding preparations; we have been doing our best to keep this quote in mind "Success during an engagement does not come merely through finding the right fiance, but through being the right fiance". Wedding planning is magical but may get turbulent at times; completely natural! If there is one piece of advice I would like to share with you is that you need to focus on yourself, grow as an individual, and your life partnership will be so much healthier & you'll be happier.  Everyone goes through challenges and obstacles; the way they choose to share or to omit content isn't an exact replica of what is going on. I choose to share the goof, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. So, don't focus on others.. instead, use your time and energy to focus on 'you' and trust me when I say that the 'we as a couple' will become so much easier, stronger and fruitful. 

Breaking down the title; Mikveh.

Dips in the mikveh take the woman from a state of impurity (“tumah” in Hebrew) to a state of purity (“taharah”). Tumah and taharah, however, do not correlate with clean and dirty. “The Mikveh is about the immersion of the soul". My mikveh preparations with Rebbetzin Shoshie Wohlgelernter were very interesting. I am not an orthodox Jew, but many of the Jewish laws and principals were very attractive to me and an unforgettable experience. Taking an hour per week to meet with her was well-worth my time and energy. 

My mikveh ritual and ceremony was changed a little bit because of what I wanted to get out of it. Many of my friends who have gotten married and had a mikveh ceremony usually prepared the ceremony on a Thursday or Friday morning. I decided to do mine after Shabbat on Saturday night. We stared with a light dinner at my moms house at 7:00pm with all the women wearing white outfits.  After the dinner all the ladies left to La Jolla for the mikveh at 9:00pm.

​We were 1 hour early to the mikveh appoinment and decided to do an activity with the closest women in my life outside the mikveh building infront of the synagogue.  We formulated a circle of all the ladies where they blessed, praised and shared love, laughter & advice with me and my new chapter with Tommi. I was in the center of the circle; while each family member & close friend shared the center with me as I lit their candle illuminating both our faces. THIS MOMENT WAS MAGICAL and it was only the beginning to the serene, calm and powerful mikveh experience that I always dreamt about. After the mikveh, the brides-to-be and their friends and family are usually invited to lunch. This is what I didn't envision for myself; I preferred leaving the mikveh with my mom and carrying the experience within my mind, body and soul directly to rest the night before our big wedding day. 

This mikveh experience was one of the most incredible moments in my life. Shoshie shared that  during your 'bride-to-be' moment; and during your mikveh.. you have 'special powerful energy' that can help many people around you. This moment is not only to pray for yourselves but to ignite the lives of others with your blessings, prayers and wishes.  I recommend this for you as a bride-to-be, ahhhh beautiful!!

Breaking down the title; Shalom Bayit.

What is shalom bayit and why do many sephardic jewish girls take classes from the female leaders of their congregation? Shalom means peace in hebrew and bayit,  means home. Shalom bayit; peace in home.. is the Jewish religious concept of domestic harmony and good relations between husband and wife.

​In a Jewish court of law, shalom bayit is the Hebrew term for marital reconciliation. Its the guidance and reminders in life that we aren't alone; and there are people surrounding us and willing to help in order for us as brides and our grooms to have a successful life together with these principles. Thanks to Rashel Mizrahi for the love, laughter and lessons shared to both Tommi and I.  She has been a fundamental figure in both of our lives and I recommend each and every bride-to-be to learn about shalom bayit and practice the principals of having a 'home full of peace and love'. 
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Ciao Bella!
​Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#lovedais