Guide To Getting To:  "I Do"
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30 adventures before turning 31.. starting today!

1/29/2016

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Picture
Photography: Stephanie Fong Photography I San Diego, California​
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I vow to take on these 30 adventures/to-do's; who's in? 

Life is such a marathon (can you relate?),  and at times its hard to press PAUSE and remember to do the things you want to simply do and achieve while still having a a healthy balance between your professional and personal life.  I wanted to share my 30 adventures I vow to accomplish before turning 31. I have set my 31st birthday as my deadline to achieve the list below; I have exactly 30 days! Some of the to-do's below are adventures, others are simple actions that I just wanted to make sure I do before my next birthday. Its much easier to succeed at accomplishing ideas, goals or plans when writing them down. Oh, and broadcasting through social media puts a little more pressure to making them happen! They become even more attainable once you share it with the world, invite others to participate and pretty much hold you accountable!

I invite you to join.  Now, if you give me your word  that you want in on a certain plan in the list below; you'll be held as accountable as I will be. ;)  And if you decide on making your own list; please share it.. I would love to be a part of your experience!


The list of 30 before turning 31:

1- Watch an entire sunrise 
2- Do something uncomfortable 
3- Plant a tree
4- Pay it forward 

5- Host a shabbat dinner
6- Lunch date with my brothers
7- Create a painting & gift it 
8- Enjoy a full day without internet
9- Go on a spontaneous 24 hour trip
10- Send a hand written letter to a friend abroad 
11- Make something out of wood
12- Host an epic sleepover for my nephews
​13- Do something that scares me
14- Teach a bellydance class like the good 'ol days  (>>date & time TBA) 
15- Learn 10 new Italian words
16- Get to know a unique Airbnb destination
17- Donate 1/2 of my clothing
18- Take dad on a fun adventure
19- Dogadance Class! (yep..dance class with your pup/10lbs or less >>date & time TBA)
20- Join a class
21- Girls night out!
22- Finish reading 'Girl Through Glass' by Sari Wilson
23- Plan a surprise 
24- Meditate for at least 30 minutes straight 
25- Invite an elderly person to a night out/dinner
26- Watch a full sunset 
27- Visit grandma Dina's grave 
28- Take papillon on a full day adventure (doggie date anyone?)
29- Learn how to cook a new Turkish dish
30- Teach a Dance Therapy class! (>> date & time TBA) 

​I hope to motivate you in writing down your thoughts, aspirations, goals, adventures and anything you want to embark upon and make it happen one at a time! Whether its 2 days before your 21st birthday, 5 days till your 50th, 10 days before you graduate, 20 days before your bachelorette, your first 25 days living in a new city, 30 days before giving birth or 60 days before getting to: "I DO". Whatever it may be... have fun coming up with your list! 

I'm looking forward to be sharing many of these moments with you. Comment below and we'll make it a date! Thanks for joining my journey on not only my last couple of days as a 30 year old, but also in my crazy adventures and ideas before getting to: "I DO"!

Instead of reducing the amount of things I need to organize before my wedding day.. it looks like I'm augmenting the list.. but thats ok ha!!  As long is it makes me happy, makes a difference and the process is enjoyed.. why not!?! :)

​This is going to be interesting. 

​
​Ciao 
Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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What does being engaged really mean?

1/18/2016

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Picture
Photography: Mr.Bru I San Diego, California

This topic naturally was discussed during recent coffee catch ups, whatsapp chats and girls night outs. I asked my newly engaged friends what does being engaged really mean to them.. many answered with similar responses while others differed, making each engagement custom. We talked about the happiness and challenges throughout this journey. We shared our unique experiences being newly engaged. Some of us were going through the excitement of getting to live in the same house for the first time with her fiancé, others still haven’t lived together and waiting for after the wedding, others have been living together all ready.. different backgrounds, cultures and responses. 

What does being engaged really mean?

I'll go ahead and start!
To me, being engaged… 


  1. Involves a shift both in identity and emotions. 
  2. Is a period of major adjustments and transformation.
  3. Tradition!
  4. Is a time for celebrating love, loyalty, commitment, fidelity, and a promise bringing our exclusive relationship to a top-tier level as a couple and announcing it to the world… while mourning the loss of my last name.
  5. Is a unique chapter we get to enjoy calling each other ‘fiance’.
  6. Being engaged is when we continuously embrace and practice Wabi Sabi Love. (Thank you to my life coach, mentor and friend; Leslie J. Saul of Hold Thee Onion for introducing me to this concept and tool to carry with us through life) 
  7. Its the culmination of finding our soul mate.
  8. Its the peace of mind, body and soul we are gifted with. 
  9. Its the time where all of a sudden champagne has a new meaning in my life and I try figuring out which will be the best tasting for my bridal shower, bachelorette and wedding toast.
  10. Its the months we figure out whether we have a BRIDEZILLA or GROOMZILLA on our hands (Tommaso has won the Groomzilla title in our case)
  11. Its the planning we do as an engaged couple to create our plans of building a future together and designing our road map to how we will make these plans happen. 
  12. Its the time where we continue dreaming about our fantasy wedding yet become a little more realistic with what is possible and what truly matters most to us with less sparkle, fireworks and horse-carriage entries. 
  13. Its the days in which we get to plan our wedding as a couple along with family and our friend Morvarid/wedding planner from Olive + Wheat Designs. 
  14. Its a sacred initiation where it brings a mother and daughter even closer
  15. The engagement period emphasizes the meaning of promising one another continuos respect, eternal love, compassion, generosity and to cultivate an ever-lasting loving relationship.  

I have slightly tweaked a quote by Barnett R. Brickner saying; “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate”… to…

“Success during your engagement does not come merely through finding the right fiance, but through being the right fiance”. 

So ladies, lets be good fiances and enjoy this once in a lifetime moment and have a meaningful engagement and a stress-free journey getting to: “I DO”

What does being engaged mean to you? 
Share your comments and I’m sure you’ll inspire fellow engaged ladies. 


​Ciao 
Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#LoveDais
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Getting to: I "DO"

1/6/2016

12 Comments

 
Picture
Photography: Stephanie Fong Photography I San Diego, California

To share, or not to share? I've chosen to share!


So this is the first blog that needs to set the tone for the rest of my "Getting to: I DO" stories right? Hashtag.. #NOPRESSURE !! There is a lot of pressure actually; but I'll take on the challenge! This is me, my story and I.. and I thank you for joining me on my crazy adventures and for your support along the way.  This is the backstory we'll get out of the way on this first entry and leave all the adventures for the blog posts to come!

WOW, what a journey it has been thus far. Ups and downs, explorations here and there and discoveries that will last a lifetime..  a rollercoaster in which I am grateful for. The lessons i've learned, the laughter i've shared, and the love I lived were all well-worth it. I don't regret a thing (well, maybe a few.. but its all part of experiencing life right?) 

Have you held a secret from the most important people in your life? I have. I surrender and am guilty as charged. In 2014, I was captive to my own romantic fairytale story (once again) ..confined within 4 walls of my apartment. My closest friends were invited to my secluded-paradise, but not my family.. they were kept far far away assuming I was protecting their feelings and reputation. I was so fearful; I was scared that I was letting my family down as I decided to date outside of my faith (once again). I knew something had to change; I needed to upgrade my fearful thoughts and create new opportunities with the decisions I chose to take. I didn't know how to own my actions and face reality; the reality of what I was living and the choices I was making.  2014 was a year that shifted my world and for others around me. It was the year that I created an opportunity for myself and for others. My intention was never to hurt anyone or let anyone down; I publicly apologize if I did so.  Every connection I have made in my life has been of great value and I am lucky to have had the honor for the moments we shared. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that everyone who enters our life; is here on purpose. 

You may ask how I changed my ways or what I did in order to face my fear? I did something where my brother Yigal has been inviting me to experience for months and I pushed away his invitation because I felt I wasn't "ready". I'm not sure what I wasn't "ready" for but all I knew at that point was.. that I wasn't "ready" for the transformation everyone including he, was talking about. He was sharing the incredible effect the Landmark Forum had on his life and the positive shift it made for him. A few months later... I was ready! I was ready to dive right in without any expectations and just give myself the opportunity to try something new, explore and enjoy the experience. I took the Landmark Forum and loved every second of this powerful weekend! I explored with an open mind, an open heart and gained a multitude of discoveries that shifted my world!! I loved it so much, I joined the Advanced Course. 

A week later I invited my mom for a glass of wine to my Cortez Hill apartment; to share, to be authentic and to open up about what I was going through in my own little world.  We sat on my comfy grey couch side by side, both holding our red mixed berry wine and together took a deep breath.. I turned to her (while my heart beating rapidly) to share the story she didn't know about.  Before the first words intended to leave my mouth were delivered to her ears and heart; tears stubbled down my face. At this point, I felt my moms energy as she automatically left all guards down and was ready to listen without judgement.  It might sound exaggerated to you; but my soul sensed and was internally screaming 'HAZARD AHEAD' and WARNINGS ran through my body and mind... but I still went ahead as she deserved to know everything. 

Fast forward to today; I am here because of the endless support of my family, friends & community. They trust me for making decisions that are true to my heart and my life while integrating a wonderful human being to our circle. I feel free and as happy as can be at this stage of my life; grateful for living a healthy, lively and authentic life.  I am able to share this blog with you today openly, thanks to my desire for breaking my 'pattern' and giving my current relationship a public chance.  I am infinitely lucky to have been introduced to and get to spend my life with such a special neshama (soul), and thats my incredible fiancé Tommaso! The closer I brought him to my world, the more everything seamlessly aligned. We have not lost, but gained a tribe member who deserves every right to be amongst this community.. carrying  our traditions for generations to come.  Our own expectations can limit us and confine us into this 'box' we created. This solidarity doesn't allow for an open mind nor an open heart. Yes, there are desires and dreams we want to follow... follow what feels right to you, don't hide and enjoy the moments getting yourself closer to: "I DO". 

My plan was to be married 5 years ago with at least two kids by now;  while we plan.. the mister above laughs. So stop trying to plan every little thing.. and instead, enjoy every little thing as it comes. 


How to get to: "I DO"? My suggestion to you is the following..

Be authentic, live your life, share your experiences, have fun, be brave, take risks, be patient, collect memories, live with less expectations, go on crazy adventures, live with less pressure on yourself, make mistakes, have an open mind & heart, be loyal to your gut, don't settle.. yet, no need to be so picky (there is no perfect man, we aren't perfect women)! 

Hope you enjoyed this read! I had a good time opening my heart and writing it out while listening to Enya & Stings album. I look forward to getting to: "I DO" with you!! Thanks for joining me doll.

Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#LoveDais
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    Author

    San Diego native with a multicultural background; Turkish, Spanish and Israeli descent... married to an Italiano from Milano. Founder of rockpaperbrands (formerly Bafi Agency), Modern Citizens,  and the main character of The Guide to Getting To: "I Do".  Entreshedoer, born to dance! Loves to travel, spend time with family & friends, create startups  & has a healthy addiction to hearts of palm. 
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