Guide To Getting To:  "I Do"
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I DO!!

11/10/2016

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Photo Cred: Alon David Photography
Venue: The SantaLuz Club

​'I DID' on July 10, 2016 and I still 'DO'!
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What a magical & unique experience ladies!  A once in a lifetime moment that will last in heart, memory, in pictures, in video forever and in generations to come (Bezrat Hashem, Insallah, G-d willing). I look back a few months and am still astonished by the journey I took to get to where I am today and the incredible moments I am so fortunate of having and for creating. The family and friends that have surrounded Tommi and I both were incredibly loving and equally excited for us, making this moment the most special  in our lives thus far.

I'm glad the wedding planning is over I must say. For those of you in the planning phases, it is fun but many of you will agree that it can get overwhelming. Resonates with you?  I'm happy the most beautiful and incredible wedding was created and grateful to have had our petite dream wedding as magical and extraordinary as we deserved.

Now, with a little more time on my hands, without wedding plans.. I can share bits and pieces of my special day and wish you the best on YOUR WEDDING DAY!

Wedding planning can take its toll on the bride, groom and everyone involved. It's such a joyous task yet may be a stressful one. Why stressful? Well let me share ladies; you have a vision for your wedding and you want to make it as close as possible to that vision. For many of us; a good portion of our lives has been in falling in love and getting lucky to find our other half. Once we get there.. the next step is striving to prepare the most enchanted and dreamy wedding day with our husband-to-be, family and friends. All the knot magazine articles, instagram #inspo feeds, Wedding Design Pinterest boards, Modern Luxury Brides, Bridezilla binge watching, planner suggestions, Bridal Bazaar Events and ideas generated from attending hundreds of showers and weddings for your friends gets us excited and anxious. Right? Any of you with me? I'm sure I have defined a large segment reading this. You have details you want to include, people you must have attend, songs that are required to be played, special sparkler must-haves, traditions that must be passed on, and budgets to not be exceeded (which ladies... you WILL surpass them, so plan for an extra cushion just in case).

The wedding planning was hectic I must say; yet, having this blog which stood as my 'engagement legacy' was an epic memento in my book and for my heart, hopefully inspiring your journey along the way . Pre-'I DO' and post 'I DO' are all as equally as important, but this post has an additional weight and responsibility that needs your attention more than ever. 

As brides, we focus on all the little details that make our wedding the most magical & perfect day of our lives . But seriously, think about how lucky we all are.. we've got to be grateful (I am almost positive we all are..this is a friendly reminder, just in case). And those who haven't said "I DO" just yet... keep this in mind throughout your planning, during your party and after the wedding aftermath. We have the best parents,  family, and friends in the world! #luckiestgirlsintheworld

Beyond the unique Italian-wedding theme, flowers, gorgeous venue & natural scenery, lighting, decor, incredible musicians, the best DJ, live statues, authentic gelato, doves flying above the chuppah (Jewish marriage canopy) & all the entertainment we had planned for our guests.. the most important part during my wedding was being so freaking FORTUNATE!!! Having my siblings and family with me, being so blessed to have found my soul-mate and partner in life. Having my healthy, beautiful and happy mom with me throughout the whole process & celebrations.. and my dad right by my side, walking me down the isle and giving me the MOST MEMORABLE & TOUCHING first dance ever!! ​

It will be those who surrounded us on our most special day that will be closer to our hearts and in memory forever, than the wedding details we chose. No stress, be present in every moment and feel the LOVE! One last piece of advice.. don't waste your time and energy comparing your wedding to others. Why? Because NO ONE will have a wedding as unique as yours. You want to know why else? Because its YOUR wedding; un-comparable ;)  #foodforthought

'I DO'... The journey continues!

One of the adventures that awaits us is our honeymoon. We are in the planning stages at the moment. Exciting right? It is! Any suggestions?? Please share below! Why did we wait a few months after the wedding to go on to planning out our honeymoon? We decided to take a few months before planning & taking off to our honeymoon after our wedding to spend time with family who stayed in SD after our wedding, taking some time to get on track with building our business, and to organize our home together.

We decided to focus on the planning and coordination of this new chapter and new life together, which takes dedication, commitment & teamwork. Many people talk about all the amazing features a marriage includes but they leave out the initial 'work' and collaboration it takes to uphold a healthy, happy and harmonious matrimony.

Every couple and every marriage is different; but what I do know from the experiences my married friends share with me and now my own experience.. the thesis is that in order for a marriage to succeed filled with passion, ease, strength, love, happiness, it involves a whole lot of communication, collaboration, courage, commitment, consistency, clarity, and Yigal.. am I missing any other important C's? My brother Yigal; (an executive life coach, mentor, speaker, and leader to many successful business men enrolled in his  Legion of Leaders program).. reminds me about how many C's are we doing constantly? And always puts me in CHECK. Oh! There is the other C.. 'check'. Keep yourself in check ladies. I totally made this up as I'm writing this blog. My life & business coach, Leslie J. Saul does an incredible job with making sure I'm in check constantly & consistently. What does keeping in 'check' mean? It goes back to the quote I shared with all of you a few months back..

"Success during an engagement does not come merely through finding the right fiance, but through being the right fiance". 

And in my case now...
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"Success during a marriage does not come merely through marrying the right partner, but through being the right partner". 

This little quote above is a powerful; keep it in mind as you ride along your journey. 

I WILL share with you what many 'newly weds' DON'T share, making it seem as if all is smooth sailing ahead after saying 'I DO'. NOPE, NO, NEIN, JAYIR, LO, (you get the point) .. it's NOT, and it takes more work than ever to compromise, work as a team, communicate, commit, and courageously grow and nurture. 

Everyone's experience is different and I can only share that of my own. My husband is an easy going guy, happy about pretty much everything , he likes giving everyone a hard time just for his own entertainment purposes, challenges those around him in order to be challenged himself, independent, uber intelligent, is an amazing chef and knows his way around many tools, gadgets, baking appliances, innovative, helpful, caring, loving and so much more.  We both have our own identities and need to  remember to continue being who we are while sharing our identity with our partner in life. There are more days of love and laughter and on days where that dynamic shifts.. we work on it and prioritize in order to surpass that and get back on the right track. The train track of LOVE... choo choo!! (cheesy lol) 

I share this open heartedly with you because we can all relate to the ups and downs life brings us; it takes WORK and COMMITMENT within ourselves to rise from whatever is keeping us down and lead our life as well as lead as the best example for our partners in life.

For those of you who are just months, weeks, days away from your WEDDING DAY.. my advice is to make sure you get the best wedding coordinator, keep the flame going with your fiance, enjoy the celebration and be 1000% PRESENT. You and your man deserve all the love, the attention, and all the blessings surrounded by the most important people in your lives.

I would love to continue sharing post-'I DO' blog articles and spread the insight, experience as I go along my adventures as a wife hoping to inspire you and help you with any things that resonates a long the way ;) 

Mazal tov bella and I wish you not only the best wedding day, but the best marriage and life together. 

Shout out to my bestie: 
Nicole Sadighpour soon-to-be Nourian... I dedicate this post to you and wish you the wedding of your dreams this coming Saturday and most importantly a long life filled with love, laughter and all the good that life will bring to the both of you!! #nikgetsnoured 

Ciao Bella!
​Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#lovedais
Wedding hashtag > > #TommilovesDaisy
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Coaching, Mikveh  & Shalom Bayit

6/27/2016

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Mikveh I Ritual Bath

Love, laughter & lessons from my life coach, rebbetzin & cantor's wife/assistant 
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You read the title right my friends! Life coaching, mikve classes and shalom bayit have been practices, rituals and ways of living which have enlightened me. Its been a busy few months on our end.  I have learned from the most wonderful women in San Diego. I have had the luck and pleasure to work with my dear friend and life coach; Leslie J. Saul, mikveh classes with Rebbetzin Shoshie Wohlgelernter and a very special lady (cantor Haim Mizrahi's wife/assistant) whom I call a second mom and has known me even before I left my moms womb; Rashel Mizrahi. I have had my wolfette-pack preparing me, mentoring me and guiding me to life-lessons and tips that are known to help keep a relationship long-lasting, strong, passionate and full of love and respect. Most importantly, my takeaway from each of these women concluded in loving ourselves in order to love and give to others as well as share a life with peace, harmony and tranquility... while passing it on from generation to generation. 

Things that we all already know right? Wrong. We don't know everything and we pretend we do until things feel a bit.. unbalanced or not quite so pinterest-like or instagram-share ready. Either way, its good to be reminded about the art of communication, igniting love and the business of keeping a partnership for life! L'CHAIM! 

Breaking down the title; Life Coaching.

Now, therapy is not a bad thing whatsoever. If anything, I encourage it 1000%!!  Having an expert guide us through our roles as individuals & the roles in a relationship, responsibilities as a couple and prepare us for a successful marriage ahead with the proper tools is more than a cherry on top. We have different assignments that keep us focused with our mutual dreams and goals as well as our individual desires and objectives, while keeping us accountable along the way. Life moves extremely fast, so having an extra moment where we work on our partnership in order to create and have the life we always dreamed of having together is more than a golden ticket. 

During our wedding preparations; we have been doing our best to keep this quote in mind "Success during an engagement does not come merely through finding the right fiance, but through being the right fiance". Wedding planning is magical but may get turbulent at times; completely natural! If there is one piece of advice I would like to share with you is that you need to focus on yourself, grow as an individual, and your life partnership will be so much healthier & you'll be happier.  Everyone goes through challenges and obstacles; the way they choose to share or to omit content isn't an exact replica of what is going on. I choose to share the goof, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. So, don't focus on others.. instead, use your time and energy to focus on 'you' and trust me when I say that the 'we as a couple' will become so much easier, stronger and fruitful. 

Breaking down the title; Mikveh.

Dips in the mikveh take the woman from a state of impurity (“tumah” in Hebrew) to a state of purity (“taharah”). Tumah and taharah, however, do not correlate with clean and dirty. “The Mikveh is about the immersion of the soul". My mikveh preparations with Rebbetzin Shoshie Wohlgelernter were very interesting. I am not an orthodox Jew, but many of the Jewish laws and principals were very attractive to me and an unforgettable experience. Taking an hour per week to meet with her was well-worth my time and energy. 

My mikveh ritual and ceremony was changed a little bit because of what I wanted to get out of it. Many of my friends who have gotten married and had a mikveh ceremony usually prepared the ceremony on a Thursday or Friday morning. I decided to do mine after Shabbat on Saturday night. We stared with a light dinner at my moms house at 7:00pm with all the women wearing white outfits.  After the dinner all the ladies left to La Jolla for the mikveh at 9:00pm.

​We were 1 hour early to the mikveh appoinment and decided to do an activity with the closest women in my life outside the mikveh building infront of the synagogue.  We formulated a circle of all the ladies where they blessed, praised and shared love, laughter & advice with me and my new chapter with Tommi. I was in the center of the circle; while each family member & close friend shared the center with me as I lit their candle illuminating both our faces. THIS MOMENT WAS MAGICAL and it was only the beginning to the serene, calm and powerful mikveh experience that I always dreamt about. After the mikveh, the brides-to-be and their friends and family are usually invited to lunch. This is what I didn't envision for myself; I preferred leaving the mikveh with my mom and carrying the experience within my mind, body and soul directly to rest the night before our big wedding day. 

This mikveh experience was one of the most incredible moments in my life. Shoshie shared that  during your 'bride-to-be' moment; and during your mikveh.. you have 'special powerful energy' that can help many people around you. This moment is not only to pray for yourselves but to ignite the lives of others with your blessings, prayers and wishes.  I recommend this for you as a bride-to-be, ahhhh beautiful!!

Breaking down the title; Shalom Bayit.

What is shalom bayit and why do many sephardic jewish girls take classes from the female leaders of their congregation? Shalom means peace in hebrew and bayit,  means home. Shalom bayit; peace in home.. is the Jewish religious concept of domestic harmony and good relations between husband and wife.

​In a Jewish court of law, shalom bayit is the Hebrew term for marital reconciliation. Its the guidance and reminders in life that we aren't alone; and there are people surrounding us and willing to help in order for us as brides and our grooms to have a successful life together with these principles. Thanks to Rashel Mizrahi for the love, laughter and lessons shared to both Tommi and I.  She has been a fundamental figure in both of our lives and I recommend each and every bride-to-be to learn about shalom bayit and practice the principals of having a 'home full of peace and love'. 
​

Ciao Bella!
​Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#lovedais
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Owning a business & planning your wedding while getting to: 'I DO', gracefully:

5/11/2016

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iPhone photography I Barrio Logan Creative Office

Tips on how to run your business while planning your wedding:

You must be a #ladyboss; a business owner with passion, intelligence, class, honor and well-liked by your crew. You strive in making a difference through your craft; reaching for opportunities while creating possibilities, you have high-standards, detail-oriented, a role-model to your team and those around you. Well, if I described you by at least of one of the above.. which I'm sure I hit at least two, you must be juggling between a ton of work & wedding tasks like I do.  I suggest you treating your wedding planning similar to your business work; in regards to these specific factors:

Staying focused
Exceeding Deadlines
Being organized
Having a budget & following up on your financials
Comparing your vendors (by price, location, & good vibes) 
Having checklists 
Creating a work schedule and wedding planning/tasks schedule 
Communicating properly 
Remembering that this is what you chose (him) and your work (your passion) 
Having fun every single day! 

Our wedding day has been a full on production where an integrated business plan, strategy, design and blueprints are being made... literally.  As a business owner; I enjoy the 'backend' operation to our wedding and will look forward to the fruits of our labor; together with my fiance Tommi and friend Morvarid with Olive & Wheat Designs (wedding planner) on our special day.  Being part of the wedding planning makes the entire process all that more special.  There are moments (like in business) where it will become stressful & you will have tons of decisions to make; I focus daily in order to leave out the stress. The goal is to [keep on swimming] move forward on the wedding planning the same way you would move forward with your business; find solutions and continue this incredible journey with a positive attitude like a #ladyleader would. 
 
Guide to getting to: 'I DO', gracefully:​
  1. Have daily work goals and daily wedding planning goals
  2. Know your monthly plan both at work & the expectations from wedding objectives
  3. Keep up with your health &  wellness programs 
  4. Take care of your lady parts; including hair, nails, waxing, etc.. 
  5. Stay social! Keep your social schedule open to spend time with family & friends
  6. Create something special during this time that will be your 'engagement legacy' 
  7. Include your business & life partner (your fiance) 
  8. Remind yourself daily (using a personal journal) why you are doing what you do
  9. Take time to do the things you love (by yourself or as a couple) 
  10. Reward yourself as you accomplish big tasks both at work & wedding tasks

I am lucky to work with brands, create projects & develop new business opportunities that excite me every day! I wake up to my morning stretching ritual that includes a 30 minute in-bed stretch session then a 30 minute floor-mat session. Once that has been completed, I walk Papillon (my Maltipoo son), shower, write in my daily-journal and prepare for the rest of the day with a tea on hand. I juice it up for the day and prep a few mason jars to take with me to the office. I do my best to keep this schedule consistent ,while changing it up now and then to dilute the monotony of a weekly schedule. 

A few projects on hand.. 
rockpaperbrands Creative Content Crafters.  www.rockpaperbrands.com #brandswithbenefits #rockpaperbrands
Modern Citizens  High-end lifestyle products, resources and ideas for Modern Senior Citizens & their families. Staying classy, creative & active! #ModernCitizens
Guide to Getting to: 'I DO' Blog www.LoveDais.com #gettingtoido #lovedais
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Thanks for the time together doll and I hope you are keeping up with your work and wedding planning balanced, while enjoying every moment. 


​Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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SMALL WEDDINGS VS. BIG WEDDINGS

4/15/2016

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Alon David Photography I Little Italy, San Diego

What kind of wedding would you prefer? 

I’ve always dreamt of having an enormous wedding; including my former dance students, teachers, community members & leaders, colleagues, mentors, friends, and family. This day is one of the most special days in a bride and groom's life!

I’ve been surrounded by the most incredible people who have touched, moved and inspired me... adding value I am oh, so grateful for.  Everyone comes into our lives for a reason and I am one who likes to stay close to and grow with them. These connections and special relationships make it extremely hard to cut down on the list; especially for my guest count. As much as I would love a wedding of 400+ guests that I adore; as a couple, we decided to keep it 'small'. 

Now that I’m in the wedding planning process; I would say that creating THE GUEST LIST has been one of the hardest tasks. It’s the most challenging because it’s not a project your wedding planner can do for you. Yes she can help plan the organization of your list; but the actual selection process… that's you, your man & the family! So, as the list was growing by the second, the numbers did not quite match our intimate romantic wedding theme... we had to remind ourselves that we wanted to have a small wedding vs a big one.

We chose to be more conservative and decided to go with an intimate celebration; merging our big Italian & Turkish families & friends into a smaller scale of MY BIG FAT ‘TURKISH/ITALIAN’ JEWISH WEDDING!

I am now dreaming and excited of having a magical intimate wedding; getting to ‘I DO’... both knowing all of our guests, saying hello to everyone and dancing with the most familiar faces.

Do what feels right and works best for you and your family. Many people will understand not making the 'cut' and others will be offended by not receiving an invite.  A small wedding vs a big wedding is up to you as a couple and if you both feel comfortable with the guest count, you have just accomplished a big task off your check-list! 

​Mazal tov to us! Now, get to the next check box on your check-list.. we still have tons to do!!
​

Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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Bachelorette  Advice

3/21/2016

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Golden Gate Bridge 

Suggestions for the bride-to-be  to remember prior to and during the bachelorette:

These are the moments that will happen once in a lifetime for you (hopefully) and you want to make sure to have the best time ever with your girls;  go with the flow, have the least amount of drama around you and enjoy every second because YOU deserve this! 

I have waited years for this bachelorette moment; dreaming of being with my closest friends & ladies in my family.. on an incredible getaway, spending quality time, catching up, having a blast and creating memories! I remember seeing groups of girls going on adventures, encountering the funniest experiences, doing spontaneous mischief, playing cheesy games and partying like the world was about to end in the sluttiest outfits. I always wondered how my experience would be; and the mystery & excitement of the countdown has been well-worth the wait. My tribe has always been such a fun and spontaneous crew... and I knew it would be one of the best experiences! I won't lie; even with the best group.. there always tends to be some tension or some kind of drama. Ignore it or choose to face it, and let this getaway be about YOUR moment and YOUR happiness.

​I have gone on some of the most incredible bachelorette weekends and had the pleasure of helping organize the events for friends, cousins and sister in law.  Every moment, whether relaxing or celebrating was so special. It was special because of the bride-to-be; celebrating HER moment and being surrounded by all of us that LOVE her and want to see her happy every second. 

Many of us; including myself, build expectations for this bachelorette trip. We put pressure on ourselves for making sure this event will be the most memorable and to those planning our bach as well.  I am a planner as part of my nature, a perfectionist and an experience connoisseur.. this made it a little bit more difficult for me to relax back and watch the show! 

The itinerary included a lot of free time to enjoy running around town visiting places we haven't been to before, enjoying delicious dinners, a salsa dancing night, a full day of wine tasting in beautiful Sonoma, pre-gaming in our suite at the Palace Hotel, everyone dressing in black while I was requested to dress in all white with a funky bridal vail, a video-interview game prerecorded of Tommi, a fun yet short walk thru China Town where my phone was stolen from my hand... (that part wasn't on the itinerary, neither was the cops chasing the iphone through "find my iphone" with their undercover car). Thank you to all the special ladies who made this an unforgettable bachelorette for me!!! <3 <3 <3

If you are lucky to have a big group of friends with you; just know that cliques are bound to happen and friends most comfortable with each other will stick together and thats totally OK.  Those who love you truly, will be by your side and make this one of the most incredible experiences of your life while getting to; "I DO". I was so lucky to have friends and family next to me who celebrated and made me feel so special and excited to be marrying Tommi! Those of you who couldn't make it.. you know who you are... I missed you so much but carried you in heart the whole time!! 

​If I can give advice to my sisters who have not yet had the bachelorette experience planned for them; I would love to share these suggestions with you below. ​

8 suggestions for the bride-to-be:

1. Give 2 options of dates and destinations for your friends to work with. 
2. Select 2 friends who you know that you can count on to organize the best trip ever. 
3. Keep away from the email or whatsapp planning threads.
4. Invite girls who truly deserve being a part of this experience with you.
5. 2 Nights /3 Days is a very good amount of time for a bachelorette getaway. 
6. Have ZERO expectations. 
7. Enjoy every moment !!!
8. Keep it classy !!!

I hope your bachelorette will be one of the most fun and memorable experiences as you get closer to your big ; "I DO".  Keep my suggestions in mind before and during your bachelorette getaway. These days will never come around again.. so enjoy it because YOU deserve it! 

It's YOUR TURN bella!

​Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais 

#LOVEDAISBACH
#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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I'm moving in!

2/19/2016

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Let's talk about "moving in before the official wedding".

​Hello sisters, 

"I'm moving in!"... there are definitely mixed emotions behind this blog title and its totally ok right? Lots of excitement gearing up to be moving in with my fiancé in a few days and at the same time a whole lot of reality settling in and nervousness going on.  At least within me; I feel this is going to be one of the biggest transformations in my life that will need to be adapted to and I'll need to prepare a well-structured practice to make it the smoothest transition ever.

Many of my friends have waited until after the wedding ceremony to move in, others moved the same night they were proposed to, and then others have been living years together before the marriage. I'm very excited but at the same time I know its going to take getting used to and adaptation to this new lifestyle as ONE under ONE ROOF. As an independent girl, who has lived on my own, taken care of myself, run my business, make my own decisions... its going to be interesting to create a new space we call "ours".

Now, I won't lie.. my apt has practically been Tommaso's home away from his home a few blocks away, but this new "official" move and the removal of my belongings from my current apt and forever taking them somewhere else is giving me butterflies and anxiety at the same time. Anyone had similar symptoms (or, is having similar symptoms)?

So, I'm here planning to move out of my apartment  after our wedding in July to not have the burden and stress of moving before the actual wedding. Well, life happens and I decided to move in sooner than my anticipated date.  It shouldn't be that big of a stress right? I just need to pack up some boxes of clothes, prep a few items of furniture going to his place, pass on the key to my dad and officially say goodbye to my solo apartment living. #everythingwillbeok 

The 5 practices I will commit to during this transition:

1. Enjoy the moment!
2. Organize the process!
3. Create an area in the new apartment for stretching!
4. Write in my daily journal!
5. Take time to meditate routinely!

What have you done that can help us ladies in transition for a seamless "move-in" ? Please add your comments as this blog isn't intended to be about me; yet my experiences and others can be of great value to all of us. 

​Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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30 adventures before turning 31.. starting today!

1/29/2016

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Photography: Stephanie Fong Photography I San Diego, California​
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I vow to take on these 30 adventures/to-do's; who's in? 

Life is such a marathon (can you relate?),  and at times its hard to press PAUSE and remember to do the things you want to simply do and achieve while still having a a healthy balance between your professional and personal life.  I wanted to share my 30 adventures I vow to accomplish before turning 31. I have set my 31st birthday as my deadline to achieve the list below; I have exactly 30 days! Some of the to-do's below are adventures, others are simple actions that I just wanted to make sure I do before my next birthday. Its much easier to succeed at accomplishing ideas, goals or plans when writing them down. Oh, and broadcasting through social media puts a little more pressure to making them happen! They become even more attainable once you share it with the world, invite others to participate and pretty much hold you accountable!

I invite you to join.  Now, if you give me your word  that you want in on a certain plan in the list below; you'll be held as accountable as I will be. ;)  And if you decide on making your own list; please share it.. I would love to be a part of your experience!

The list of 30 before turning 31:

1- Watch an entire sunrise 
2- Do something uncomfortable 
3- Plant a tree
4- Pay it forward 
5- Host a shabbat dinner
6- Lunch date with my brothers
7- Create a painting & gift it 
8- Enjoy a full day without internet
9- Go on a spontaneous 24 hour trip
10- Send a hand written letter to a friend abroad 
11- Make something out of wood
12- Host an epic sleepover for my nephews
​13- Do something that scares me
14- Teach a bellydance class like the good 'ol days  (>>date & time TBA) 
15- Learn 10 new Italian words
16- Get to know a unique Airbnb destination
17- Donate 1/2 of my clothing
18- Take dad on a fun adventure
19- Dogadance Class! (yep..dance class with your pup/10lbs or less >>date & time TBA)
20- Join a class
21- Girls night out!
22- Finish reading 'Girl Through Glass' by Sari Wilson
23- Plan a surprise 
24- Meditate for at least 30 minutes straight 
25- Invite an elderly person to a night out/dinner
26- Watch a full sunset 
27- Visit grandma Dina's grave 
28- Take papillon on a full day adventure (doggie date anyone?)
29- Learn how to cook a new Turkish dish
30- Teach a Dance Therapy class! (>> date & time TBA) 

​I hope to motivate you in writing down your thoughts, aspirations, goals, adventures and anything you want to embark upon and make it happen one at a time! Whether its 2 days before your 21st birthday, 5 days till your 50th, 10 days before you graduate, 20 days before your bachelorette, your first 25 days living in a new city, 30 days before giving birth or 60 days before getting to: "I DO". Whatever it may be... have fun coming up with your list! 

I'm looking forward to be sharing many of these moments with you. Comment below and we'll make it a date! Thanks for joining my journey on not only my last couple of days as a 30 year old, but also in my crazy adventures and ideas before getting to: "I DO"!

Instead of reducing the amount of things I need to organize before my wedding day.. it looks like I'm augmenting the list.. but thats ok ha!!  As long is it makes me happy, makes a difference and the process is enjoyed.. why not!?! :)

​This is going to be interesting. 

​
​Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
#LoveDais
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What does being engaged really mean?

1/18/2016

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Photography: Mr.Bru I San Diego, California

This topic naturally was discussed during recent coffee catch ups, whatsapp chats and girls night outs. I asked my newly engaged friends what does being engaged really mean to them.. many answered with similar responses while others differed, making each engagement custom. We talked about the happiness and challenges throughout this journey. We shared our unique experiences being newly engaged. Some of us were going through the excitement of getting to live in the same house for the first time with her fiancé, others still haven’t lived together and waiting for after the wedding, others have been living together all ready.. different backgrounds, cultures and responses. 

What does being engaged really mean?

I'll go ahead and start!
To me, being engaged… 

  1. Involves a shift both in identity and emotions. 
  2. Is a period of major adjustments and transformation.
  3. Tradition!
  4. Is a time for celebrating love, loyalty, commitment, fidelity, and a promise bringing our exclusive relationship to a top-tier level as a couple and announcing it to the world… while mourning the loss of my last name.
  5. Is a unique chapter we get to enjoy calling each other ‘fiance’.
  6. Being engaged is when we continuously embrace and practice Wabi Sabi Love. (Thank you to my life coach, mentor and friend; Leslie J. Saul of Hold Thee Onion for introducing me to this concept and tool to carry with us through life) 
  7. Its the culmination of finding our soul mate.
  8. Its the peace of mind, body and soul we are gifted with. 
  9. Its the time where all of a sudden champagne has a new meaning in my life and I try figuring out which will be the best tasting for my bridal shower, bachelorette and wedding toast.
  10. Its the months we figure out whether we have a BRIDEZILLA or GROOMZILLA on our hands (Tommaso has won the Groomzilla title in our case)
  11. Its the planning we do as an engaged couple to create our plans of building a future together and designing our road map to how we will make these plans happen. 
  12. Its the time where we continue dreaming about our fantasy wedding yet become a little more realistic with what is possible and what truly matters most to us with less sparkle, fireworks and horse-carriage entries. 
  13. Its the days in which we get to plan our wedding as a couple along with family and our friend Morvarid/wedding planner from Olive + Wheat Designs. 
  14. Its a sacred initiation where it brings a mother and daughter even closer
  15. The engagement period emphasizes the meaning of promising one another continuos respect, eternal love, compassion, generosity and to cultivate an ever-lasting loving relationship.  

I have slightly tweaked a quote by Barnett R. Brickner saying; “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate”… to…

“Success during your engagement does not come merely through finding the right fiance, but through being the right fiance”. 

So ladies, lets be good fiances and enjoy this once in a lifetime moment and have a meaningful engagement and a stress-free journey getting to: “I DO”

What does being engaged mean to you? 
Share your comments and I’m sure you’ll inspire fellow engaged ladies. 


​Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#LoveDais
3 Comments

Getting to: I "DO"

1/6/2016

12 Comments

 
Picture
Photography: Stephanie Fong Photography I San Diego, California

To share, or not to share? I've chosen to share!

So this is the first blog that needs to set the tone for the rest of my "Getting to: I DO" stories right? Hashtag.. #NOPRESSURE !! There is a lot of pressure actually; but I'll take on the challenge! This is me, my story and I.. and I thank you for joining me on my crazy adventures and for your support along the way.  This is the backstory we'll get out of the way on this first entry and leave all the adventures for the blog posts to come!

WOW, what a journey it has been thus far. Ups and downs, explorations here and there and discoveries that will last a lifetime..  a rollercoaster in which I am grateful for. The lessons i've learned, the laughter i've shared, and the love I lived were all well-worth it. I don't regret a thing (well, maybe a few.. but its all part of experiencing life right?) 

Have you held a secret from the most important people in your life? I have. I surrender and am guilty as charged. In 2014, I was captive to my own romantic fairytale story (once again) ..confined within 4 walls of my apartment. My closest friends were invited to my secluded-paradise, but not my family.. they were kept far far away assuming I was protecting their feelings and reputation. I was so fearful; I was scared that I was letting my family down as I decided to date outside of my faith (once again). I knew something had to change; I needed to upgrade my fearful thoughts and create new opportunities with the decisions I chose to take. I didn't know how to own my actions and face reality; the reality of what I was living and the choices I was making.  2014 was a year that shifted my world and for others around me. It was the year that I created an opportunity for myself and for others. My intention was never to hurt anyone or let anyone down; I publicly apologize if I did so.  Every connection I have made in my life has been of great value and I am lucky to have had the honor for the moments we shared. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that everyone who enters our life; is here on purpose. 

You may ask how I changed my ways or what I did in order to face my fear? I did something where my brother Yigal has been inviting me to experience for months and I pushed away his invitation because I felt I wasn't "ready". I'm not sure what I wasn't "ready" for but all I knew at that point was.. that I wasn't "ready" for the transformation everyone including he, was talking about. He was sharing the incredible effect the Landmark Forum had on his life and the positive shift it made for him. A few months later... I was ready! I was ready to dive right in without any expectations and just give myself the opportunity to try something new, explore and enjoy the experience. I took the Landmark Forum and loved every second of this powerful weekend! I explored with an open mind, an open heart and gained a multitude of discoveries that shifted my world!! I loved it so much, I joined the Advanced Course. 

A week later I invited my mom for a glass of wine to my Cortez Hill apartment; to share, to be authentic and to open up about what I was going through in my own little world.  We sat on my comfy grey couch side by side, both holding our red mixed berry wine and together took a deep breath.. I turned to her (while my heart beating rapidly) to share the story she didn't know about.  Before the first words intended to leave my mouth were delivered to her ears and heart; tears stubbled down my face. At this point, I felt my moms energy as she automatically left all guards down and was ready to listen without judgement.  It might sound exaggerated to you; but my soul sensed and was internally screaming 'HAZARD AHEAD' and WARNINGS ran through my body and mind... but I still went ahead as she deserved to know everything. 

Fast forward to today; I am here because of the endless support of my family, friends & community. They trust me for making decisions that are true to my heart and my life while integrating a wonderful human being to our circle. I feel free and as happy as can be at this stage of my life; grateful for living a healthy, lively and authentic life.  I am able to share this blog with you today openly, thanks to my desire for breaking my 'pattern' and giving my current relationship a public chance.  I am infinitely lucky to have been introduced to and get to spend my life with such a special neshama (soul), and thats my incredible fiancé Tommaso! The closer I brought him to my world, the more everything seamlessly aligned. We have not lost, but gained a tribe member who deserves every right to be amongst this community.. carrying  our traditions for generations to come.  Our own expectations can limit us and confine us into this 'box' we created. This solidarity doesn't allow for an open mind nor an open heart. Yes, there are desires and dreams we want to follow... follow what feels right to you, don't hide and enjoy the moments getting yourself closer to: "I DO". 

My plan was to be married 5 years ago with at least two kids by now;  while we plan.. the mister above laughs. So stop trying to plan every little thing.. and instead, enjoy every little thing as it comes. 

How to get to: "I DO"? My suggestion to you is the following..

Be authentic, live your life, share your experiences, have fun, be brave, take risks, be patient, collect memories, live with less expectations, go on crazy adventures, live with less pressure on yourself, make mistakes, have an open mind & heart, be loyal to your gut, don't settle.. yet, no need to be so picky (there is no perfect man, we aren't perfect women)! 

Hope you enjoyed this read! I had a good time opening my heart and writing it out while listening to Enya & Stings album. I look forward to getting to: "I DO" with you!! Thanks for joining me doll.

Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#gettingtoido
​#LoveDais
12 Comments

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!

12/31/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
" #Ageisjustanumber "

That was the nights 'theme' and hashtag for my 30th birthday party. I'll be honest.. I wasn't ready for my own bday just yet and was pretty scared of turning 30. I was uneasy leaving my 20's because I felt I still had so much to accomplish and time was ticking. 

So, this hashtag reminds me that #ageisjustanumber and to pursue my adventures, dreams and happiness to the fullest without a bind by age nor expectations. 

I feel incredibly grateful and lucky to continue filling my book of memories,  achievements and do-good moments... chapter after chapter.  Each chapter has its own experiences that we learn from (and.. don't quite learn from), but helps us grow as individuals.  I will say though, that this year has opened my perspective in life to a whole arena of ideas and philosophy. I do consider myself an open-minded individual; but not till this year did I open my mind and heart to a bigger understanding of the world, my cohabitants and to what truly matters in life. This is where I believe you grow wiser and mature even further. 

I will also share that I gained a stronger awareness to my fears and a louder sound to my internal dialogue. It has been an interesting conversation I must say, but  rewarding when I can figure things out. 

Below I share 6 "upgrades" as a 30 year old. 

1. Upgraded to more savings monthly
Oh yes! Started saving more money.

2. Quality vs Quantity 
Friendships and relationships with others got much more picky in the sense of not allowing to distribute my energy and my attention to everyone. I made sure that the connections I created and adopted were to add value to my life and vice versa.  I ruled out the clutter and made room for quality vs quantity. 

3. Focus on 1 project at a time
Every morning shower is when I come up with ideas; and pretty much birth the existence of a new start-up. I had to stop that. Well, to be honest here between you and I... I will say that I got much better at quieting those imaginative ideas and letting the one project I was working on be the main focus. 

4. Unreasonable vs reasonable
I learned how to not have to have control over every situation [miss perfectionist] and become unreasonable allowing for more freedom. Unreasonable actions led to becoming more authentic and genuine to everyone around me. It feels so good to not have to be reasonable all the time.  

5. Healthy choices 
Every Sunday I prepare juices for the week ahead; I try practicing to eat healthy, drink healthy and live healthy on the daily. My goal was and still is to stretch out daily in the early morning around 6am; on my tribal yoga mat in the living room. 

6. Care about what you think.. not about what others think. 
I used to feed off of validation; and this brought me to a lot of self doubt.  So, for this situation that I found myself in.. I thought about testing more of what I believe in and hearing myself more often. Meditation was key to this practice and goal. 

These 6 tweaks guided me to live a more happy, healthy and fulfilled life style at 30.. which I do my best at accomplishing routinely.
​

Ciao Bella!
​ Love, Dais

#ageisjustanumber
#LoveDais
0 Comments

    Author

    San Diego native with a multicultural background; Turkish, Spanish and Israeli descent... married to an Italiano from Milano. Founder of rockpaperbrands (formerly Bafi Agency), Modern Citizens,  and the main character of The Guide to Getting To: "I Do".  Entreshedoer, born to dance! Loves to travel, spend time with family & friends, create startups  & has a healthy addiction to hearts of palm. 
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